This magnificent Harry Potter fanfic is not for everyone. But if you like it, you will like it.
What if Harry had been raised by scientists? What if he was spectacularly, generationally bright? What if his reaction to the existence of magic was to hurl the scientific method at it until something shatters? What if the plot of Harry Potter is playing itself around him while he does so?
Many books have clever characters. But the cleverness is usually relative: they’re smarter than everyone else in the story, but only because the others are artificially slow. Or it’s just implausible foresight that allows them to construct elaborate plans that go their way at every step.
Not the case here. They’re just outright smarter than you.
The characters actively acknowledge that you can’t realistically concoct plans where more than one big thing needs to fall your way – it won’t work. So they don’t even try. They scheme and they fail and they improvise and they keep going. They solve problems elegantly and surprisingly. And always with better situational awareness than I can lay claim to: whenever I saw something coming the characters had already anticipated it and taken action to avoid it. This is 99% impressive and 1% demoralising, but you get over it.
And irritatingly it’s all coherent. Everything has an explanation. Occasionally something mad happens and you think it’s jumped the shark but then the shark comes back and fucks you up.
It’s a very clever way of teaching you how to think. The author has a pre-built world of danger and brilliance and intrigue that he doesn’t need introduce. He can just use it as a prop for what he wants to do, which is make you think better. And annoyingly it does actually make you think better. I was, as the kids say, humbled. But not, as the kids mean, fake-embarrassed at having my awesomeness pointed out to me in public. No, I just realised I am dumb in a lot of ways.
For example: one of Harry’s biggest bugbears is people jumping to conclusions. Just sit down and think for five minutes, he implores everyone. Just five minutes. Maybe you’ll have some new insight, maybe you won’t, but give it five minutes. Anything of importance is surely worth five minutes.
Reader, I have adopted this principle in the time since finishing the book and it has had a non-trivial impact on my life. This is humiliating.
Also the story is really very good. It does not betray you. It does not cheat. It does not pull rabbits out of hats. It even fixes some plot holes. There is a Draco Malfoy plot that one can only stand back and admire. It’ll ruin you for other books, frankly. You’ll find most characters a bit slow and stupid for a while. I have rarely been so glued to anything, and never to fanfiction.
Oh and it’s also very funny. Because, you know, it wasn’t good enough.
If I have any criticism at all, it’s that act 2 dips a little. Not a lot, and it comes roaring back, but a little.
hpmor, as the cool kids call it, is spectacularly humanist, spectacularly clever, and spectacularly useful. Do note that it is spectacularly long.
It is also free. Download the epub, and email it to your Kindle. And please tell me what you think. Also how.